An Open Letter to the World about HAMAS

This is a letter posted by an Israeli citizen who is friends with a Palestinian who lives in Gaza.

The names have been changed  to protect identity.


I hate the Hamas. Not only because they want to kill me (I am Israeli). My hate stems first and foremost from the atrocities they commit to their own people. In Gaza.
How do I know this? Because I have friends in Gaza and they told me.
The Hamas turned the lives of the people of Gaza to a living hell. Specifically, the Hamas stripped them from human rights, took away their dignity and turned them into human shields in the war with Israel. The Hamas abuse the people of Gaza in order to ruthlessly enforce its doctrine. Whoever resists, risks losing his/her life.
The Hamas does not represent the people of Gaza. The Hamas is a monster the people of Gaza are terrified of.
Yes, that is worth repeating. The people of Gaza are terrified of the Hamas as much, or more than, they are terrified of Israel.
This is the story of my 21-years friendship with Sahil (names were changed to protect identity). We met in LA, it was an exhibit for the 90 year anniversary of Harley Davidson.
I was wearing a T-shirt with Hebrew writing on it, and at some point I noticed a person staring at me. I don’t recall how we started talking. When he told me his name was Sahil (clearly an Arab name) I was apprehensive, but soon our mutual interest for motorcycles took over and the conversation naturally flowed.
He was from Gaza. He worked in construction in Israel for a few years and saved money to study electrical engineering in the U.S. He actually lived in Tel-Aviv for a while when he was working in Israel. Israel is a very small country, and it didn’t take long for us to find mutual acquaintances.
That’s how our friendship started. We would meet to grab lunch together because we couldn’t meet and go drinking at night, “Muslim laws don’t allow that!” he would say, and I had to sadly accept that drinking nights were not happening with Sahil.
After a short while he introduced me to Nasrin. Nasrin was from a well-to-do family in the west bank. Let’s just say she had a very comfortable life. She was an exchange student at Berkeley CA, incredibly smart. They were an adorable couple.
After a while it was time for me to go back to Israel, but we stayed in touch over the phone.
Sahil was very excited about the Oslo accords, which were being negotiated at the time. He would say “Your General Rabin is a good guy, you’ll see he will build something good around here”.
I had my doubts, and we had some lively discussion on the peace process.
The Oslo accords were finally signed in 1993. A week later he called me, excited to tell me that he was moving back to Gaza, where his family lived. He sounded very happy.
“I have a surprise for you”, he said. “Nasrin and I decided to get married. Her family wasn’t too supportive at first but, praise Allah everything worked out”.
I couldn’t make it to the wedding.
In the following years he told me about Gaza, how it is being built, about Nasrin’s first pregnancy, about the generous financial support they got from Nasrin’s parents to build their new house, and that her parents were also begging them to leave Gaza and move closer to them, in the west bank.
Then came the El-Akza intifada (the Israeli-Palestinian conflict of 2000). I called Sahil to ask how he was doing. This was ironic as I, a reserve soldier in the Israeli Defense Forces (IDF), was in a tank at the time observing Ramallah, another Palestinian town. He did not sound friendly at all this time. He said, “Your president, Sharon, is a pig, he will ruin everything”. I didn’t know what to say, so I just asked him to take care.
Our talks continued at low frequency. One day he said he had enough of the Palestinian authority, that they were all corrupt. They are taking all the aid money to themselves and are driving in their Mercedes in Palestinian towns, while the rest of the people lived in poverty. “If Nasrin’s parents didn’t give us money we wouldn’t have enough for food” he said. He was unemployed for 6 months at the time, as it was forbidden to work in Israel. “But now” he continued, “The Hamas is here and they will take care of the corruption, I will vote for them in the next elections”.
I was very upset to hear this. I told him that with all due respect for Hamas I do not trust them, they scare me (maybe because their goal is to destroy the state of Israel). Sahil did not agree. He said the Hamas are very religious people, honest people.
“Do you know how much charity they give?” he asked. “They fixed all the houses of the elderly in my town”.
“Sahil”, I said, “this charity they give comes with a price. They have an agenda”. We argued. But Sahil voted for the Hamas anyway.
In those early days he said the Hamas was good for Gaza. They took care of the corruption of the Palestinian authority (Fatah), which he referred to as “criminals” (which, I agree, they were). The Fatah were chased out of Gaza.
Then the rockets on Israel started.
It was difficult for me to talk with Sahil when, from his hometown, rockets were being shot into Israel. I told him so, I said “In Sderot (an Israeli town close to the Gaza strip border) there are citizens, innocent people, children”. He said, “What do you want? You guys shoot too”. Our phone calls became more and more scarce.
One day, after a long break in our phone calls, I called.
He wouldn’t admit it at first, but then, he said that the situation was getting dire. The Hamas instilled a reign of terror in Gaza.
“No one can speak up,” he whispered over the phone.
One day he called me. This time he was really worried. He said his oldest son joined the Hamas youth movement. He tried to stop him, to no avail. Sahil admitted that he knew the kids were brain -washed at the Hamas youth movement. He didn’t want his son to be a martyr (the ultimate goal the Hamas preached).
“I gave this child everything”, he said, “ I kept him protected from all the bad influences prevalent in Gaza. He is an excellent student. Why does he want to go with them?”
Operation Cast lead (the Hamas-Israeli conflict of 2009) came to us as a surprise. I asked Sahil to be careful. All he could say is that everything is in Allah’s hands. As a reserve soldier I was recruited for this operation, but luckily I was far from Sahil ‘s neighborhood.
Sahil called me when I was on duty, he was in panic: “The Hamas are on the roof of my house!” he whispered. “The Zionist tanks are shooting all around! Its just a matter of time until the shoot a missile right into my house!”
“Run away!” I told him. Take Nasrin and the kids and run!”
“I can’t run” he replied. “The Hamas told us that whoever runs away will be declared a coward and will be prosecuted. I can’t risk that”.
I tried to contact my friends in the IDF who were operating in Sahil ‘s neighborhood. I didn’t even know where his house was but I tried to save it.
Operation Cast Lead ended. But the forceful reign to the Hamas in Gaza didn’t. Sahil would tell me about his life in Gaza of the Hamas. He would talk about people who dared question the Hamas and subsequently disappeared from their homes in the middle of the night. Hamas imposed new rules; they could easily get people into one of the two new jails they built for allegations such as “adultery”, “treason” and worst of all – collaboration with America or the Zionist enemies. He told me of his son, who was required to learn how to shoot and fight. About People in the Hamas who would rape young women and then lock these women in jail for “adultery”. He said that women are forced to wear a head cover. If they don’t, they are disciplined by public flogging.
In contrast, Hamas members would ride around town on motorcycles, Land Rovers or Mercedes cars. Their favorite pastime was to drive around town and beat people up just for the fun of it.
During operation Pillar of Defense (the 2012 Hamas-Israeli conflict), Sahil ‘s house was hit and the roof was destroyed. My heart broke to hear of all the valuable and ancient rugs and furniture Sahil and Nasrin got from Nasrin’s parents, now lost.
Sahil said he wanted to rebuild the house, but there was no cement available. The Hamas had all the cement. I asked, “What are they doing with so much cement”, but he did not reply.
A week later Nasrin called me herself (an unusual thing to do for a Muslim woman). She spoke English, as usual, but she was in palpable distress. “They took him!” she gasped. “They took Sahil. I don’t know what they want of him”. Sahil ‘s dad tried to stop them and they beat him up – an 80-year-old man! I am afraid of what they will do to Sahil.”
“They arrested him?” I asked. “Why”?
“They said he is a collaborator with the Americans and the Zionists. He spent some time in the U.S (where he studied), so that was suspicious. They said that he is trying to poison the youth. But I know the truth”, She continued, “It is because he wouldn’t let our son go to a youth meeting. I am so scared!”
Three months later Sahil was released. His release was made possible after his family managed to raise enough money to give to the right people. When I talked with him, he sounded like an old man. He said his oldest son calls him a traitor and a collaborator with the Zionists. They are now estranged.
He was also worried about their daughters, the oldest is 16. He was afraid the Hamas would take them. Also, when Sahil was in jail, the Hamas police came and took all of Nasrin’s valuable jewelry. This jewelry was intended to be the dowry for the girls. Now they had none.
One day, Nasrin called again. She said that Sahil would not tell me, but he was badly beaten in jail, and that they broke both his legs. The Hamas wouldn’t allow him access to proper medical care for his injuries, and now he is severely disabled and cannot walk unassisted.
Our last phone call was 11 days ago. I begged Sahil to run away. Somewhere, anywhere. To Egypt perhaps? He said “forget it” the Hamas won’t let anyone leave. And the Egyptians arrest anyone who tries to. There is nowhere to go.”
Since then, I tried to call Sahil and Nasrin multiple times. They don’t answer the phone. We are not Facebook friends because Sahil didn’t want to get in trouble for having an Israeli friend.
I hope and pray they survived. One of the reasons I wrote this post is in hope that they, or someone who knows them, would see it and contact me with information about Sahil and Nasrin.

I also know there are many Sahils and Nasrins living in Gaza. I just hope that at some point they can get organized and resist the Hamas in order to create a better society, one that allows free speech, provides jobs, one that will create a better future for their kids (and ours) 


Two Dreams – together…warning and to encourage

Well I went to bed last night but I didn’t sleep that is certain; at least not the kind of sleep where you get any kind of rest.


I spent the better part of the night on the living room sofa so as not to keep my husband awake; I was tossing and turning so much! Between the vivid dreams and night time awake visions and impromptu Holy Spirit prayer sessions…yep…I do believe I have been wide awake all night long!


I would love to share just about everything here with you that the Lord has shared with me and in due time I am sure I will. For starters however, I would like to share with you the very vivid night dream/visions I had (half while I was awake and some while I was asleep.)


 I will title this first one simply;


 Cheap Red Wine


I was walking through a huge market place filled with people; all shapes and sizes; colors and beliefs. I knew they were of different beliefs because it said so, on a sign that floated above their head. An invisible sign somehow only I could see.

This market place looked like one of those new Hyper Market Grocery Stores where you can buy just about everything you needed all in one stop. You know the kind I mean. The mesmerizing kinda store that sucks the money right outta your wallet when you go into get a quick ½ gallon of milk and get lost half way back to the dairy section walk out of the store sipping a cup of gourmet coffee having spent $50 plus on everything else BUT the  milk you came in for! Yeah, we’ve all done it, at least once…right?


Well, there I was walking through this beautiful market place I had my guardians with me. We were just walking along from isle to isle. Then after about the second or third isle is when I noticed for the first time the Wine Bottles. They were every where. I mean every isle had wine bottles along with a few other food items. And the Wine to food ratio was  five bottles of wine to one  food item. Everyone who was shopping was looking at the Wine Bottles. There were small bottle and medium sized bottles and large bottle of wine. Just as if you had gone to your friendly neighborhood grocery or liquor store. All the wine bottles had price tags on them and names as well. They were very clearly priced and named; though I don’t recall the names now or the exact prices I do recall the prices of the wines being extravagantly expensive.


THEN there were these other bottles of RED WINE. They were clearly marked as well.

They were dated 1084, all of them and they had price tags marked hanging from them $3.99 for the small bottle and $5.99 for the large bottle.


I watched as people talked amongst each other and asked the store keeper some questions.


They wanted to know if the wine was deep red wine like the expensive wines.

The Store keeper answered them, “No it is more of a light red color.”


Then they asked the Store keeper why it was so much cheaper than the other more expensive wines.

The Store keeper answered them, “It is water down so I get twice as much out of my yield.”


One of the customers who had been silent got a bit angry and spoke up and said,

“So you are cheating us?”

At this the Store keeper answered them, “No. I am not cheating you. It is still very much wine in the bottle. I have just added a little water to dilute it a bit. To make it go further. Make it more affordable for you in these rough times.”


At this point I got upset and realized the Store keeper was cheating them and worse yet was deceiving them. They all just stood there staring at their bottles (plural) of wine. Cheap Red Wine.

I could see there heads spinning, their minds, their thoughts,

“I could really use the extra money for other things.”

“It’s ONLY wine.”

“It’s sooo much cheaper.”


The Store keeper piped up again,

“You have asked me your questions and I have answered you. You are the one who makes the choice to buy and drink from my cellars. The price you pay to drink MY WINE is much less than that of He who owns the Master’s Vineyards. Just think of all the things you could do and places you could go just by drinking my wine. The choice is yours.”


 This next one;

Fresh Bread

I had a dream that I was walking around the court yard of a very large and ornate cathedral eating from a basket full of pasta and bread like food, which I was holding in my arms. (*Note that the bread and pasta would appear in the basket only as I would reach in to take a piece out to eat as I felt hungry. Other wise my basket looked empty.)

There were others walking around this court yard as well. Some were dressed in robes of white and others dressed in very colorful and ornate, done up robes holding their heads high as they walked by.


Some one came up to me and said rather sternly, “You can’t eat that!” pointing to the basket which I held in my arms; “That is food for the priests only!” (They were pointing to the ones dressed in the colorful ornate robes)  Then they pointed to some tables and said, “You must eat from these tables which have been prepared for you ahead of time.”


These tables were large banquet tables covered with white tables clothes; beautifully dressed and fully covered with all kinds of different breads, pre-sliced for consumption. From where I stood it looked absolutely delicious! 



So I wandered over there and I reached down to take a slice to eat I gasssped as I saw before my… the bread starting from the inside to the out start to mold right before my eyes!!!! A small black dot started in the center of the piece of bread and grew to the outside; a black fungus; I watched it grow right before my eyes as I picked up the bread. It was disgusting! I immediately put it down and as I did I heard the voice of the Lord say to me, 


Eat only the Fresh Bread that I will give you each day you come to me. Do not rely on the bread of any other men to feed your soul or spirit or you will surely get sick and die.”





Something to think about…..Yeshua/Jesus wants to Teach us himself…here are just a few scripture references:


“Come to me, .. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me;”

Mat 11:28-29


However when the Spirit of truth comes, 

he will guide you into all truth. 

.. and he will show you things to come. John 16:13-14


But the Comforter, who is the Holy Spirit 

and whom the Father will send in my name, 

will teach you all things. John 14:26


 “This is good, and pleases God our Savior,  who wants all people to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth.  For there is one God and one mediator between God and mankind, the man Christ Jesus,

1 Timothy 2:3-5 





Prayer Behind the Curtain

HE knows


I have seen a dramatic influx of prayer requests over the past couple of months and weeks.

So much so that even in my own spirit it has affected me dramatically.


I have gone before Abba about this.


I wanted to share this with all or anyone who happens upon this.

When life gets beyond tough.

When the questions come streaming in  faster than we can answer them. 

When our big hearts just aren’t big enough to carry the burdens of everyone around us anymore.

Perhaps it’s time we fall down before the Lord.


Just take time away to “be still” an “know” Him.

 I assure you ~ in this you will find true Shalom.

No words needed.


For as surely as the sun rises in the East and sets in the West each and every day

 our creator, the G-d of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob,

HE knows

“He knows before we even ask what it is we need.”  Matthew 6:8


to enter in behind the curtain 



Covered in the Blood of the Lamb

Sitting in silence in the presence of my creator

   I myself do not even know the full measure of the need at hand


I sit in the Holy ~ Mighty ~ presence of Almighty G-d

Covered in the Blood of the Lamb

Unworthy ~ so unworthy ~  speechless

Face down ~ speechless

Holy – Holy – Holy

He is Holy ~ so very Holy

Yet my request is ~ His heart

My heart ~ is ~ in His hand

Holy – Holy – Holy

He is Holy ~ so very Holy

Melted ~  sorrow ~  repented

Death ~  newness ~ life once again

Holy – Holy – Holy

He is Holy ~ so very Holy

Scarlet ~  Crimson ~ Raining down

Snow ~  falling ~  covering the ground

The Glory of G-d ~ all around 

Holy – Holy – Holy

He is Holy ~ so very Holy

I am here ~ All I am

Nothing ~ I am nothing

So with nothing I come

Humbly I bow

Covered in the Blood of Lamb

Unworthy ~ so thankful ~ surrounded in G-d’s glory

Covered in the Blood of Lamb


Dear Diary, Thursday Oct. 3, 2013

I said,  “I love you,” to a total stranger today.

Haha…TRUTH!. Though it was quite by accident.  I was at work  a bit distracted and the words just flew out of my mouth as I was preparing my farewell adieu.

My customer would not shut up  was a tad more personable than your average caller and just had to tell me about every last thing in their life so much so that when  it came to time for the call to end  –I was in a whole other world  and caught completely off guard I was moved to emotion and spoke up straight from my heart  (I am sure I had someone near and dear in mind as I spoke those words!)

“Yes, thank you.  I love you too and have a wonderful day!”

Turns out it made the customers day. 🙂

I didn’t have the heart to let them know it was a mistake.

Perhaps tomorrow I will tell a stranger I love them  on purpose!